female friend

by Garrett nelson

I have a ton of friends and have been single for a long time. I have really close guy and girl friends. One of my girl friend's is like my sister. We have shared everything together... there has never and will never be any type of physical or sexual relationship between us. Yet, I just recently got married. My wife feels so threatened by this person, and I definitely understand that it's a strange situation. I have backed off from talking to my best friend... and my best friend has tried to call and talk and be as nice as possible to my wife. But my wife has resistance toward this best friend of mine. How can I make this relationship between my best friend and my wife better. I don't ever talk about my best friend or do anything to make my wife feel threatened yet my wife has this horrible attitude towards her.

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Dec 10, 2008
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a little understanding
by: Cody

Sorry for the delay in the answer, I've been a little unwell.

Firstly I think that it's very important for you to be sympathetic to your wifes position. Try and understand that this a difficult situation for her and her upset very is understandable. I think it's is fair to say many people would react in a similar way.

The next thing that I would say is that your responsibility first and foremost is to your wife not to the friendship. In an ideal world you could have both, but that may the be the case here. As awful as this sounds, which do you value more?

I guess as you well know things change when you get married and trying to maintain old friendships in the same way they were before the marriage is not always realistic. I'm not only on your wifes side here, I think you do have a valid argument, the only difference is that you understand this relationship from the inside, your wife sees it from the outside.

Maybe try things the other way round, tell her that she's right, maybe you shouldn't have female friends, but do it sincerely. When you put it like that she might just see that she's being a little unreasonable! So long as you keep pushing though she will probably just dig in more and more and you will just get no where.

Good Luck

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