I dont know where to start but feeling like i'm coming to my end.

by sam
(kansas city ks)

So here I am in a marriage where im not sure if she loves me. She said she loves me, but puts me in a place where she doesn't trust me I think she brought it from a previous relationship. I told her I thought about commiting suicide and she said so That broke my heart trully I thought at least that would be a way to sit and talk. Now I consider it more. Sometimes I feel there is no life on this planet for me. She has a child who doesn't even consider me her dad her dad was barly there for her 4 yrs for me but im trying so hard to keep this family afloat I ruined my credit everything to keep a roof over our head how can I keep love in my heart...for myself how do I keep myself alive. I love her to death but I really feel like Im letting everyone down here. She is a good woman but neither one of us is perfect and im reminded of that I know she wants to divorce me I feel it comin Im so depressed I dont no what to do help me